??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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