I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
