So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
