hotel room ftw
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize