Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
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