OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
