Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
