I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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