Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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