you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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