We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
