man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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