i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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