He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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