i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
