It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
