I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
