I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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