1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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