Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
