I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
