sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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