We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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