I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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