I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she told me i tasted like america
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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