end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
