Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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