dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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