Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
