Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
