he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
