I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
