She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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