I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
