dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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