Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
