woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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