i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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