That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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