I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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