im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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