She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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