I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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