Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
