Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
