I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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