It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just forgot I was standing up.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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