so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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