u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
