how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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