There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
