We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm both gender and math confused
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
