Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
