You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Barsexuality is the new black.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
