I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
