your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
