I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
