I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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