My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
