dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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