I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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