Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
